this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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