You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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