Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
