she looked like the before picture.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just took my morning after pill in the library
is wine microwaveable?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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