New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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