drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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