saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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