After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
