She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
being pregnant is like rehab
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize