I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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