carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
