if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize