we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
