You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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