Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
