Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I touched a dick in church today
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize