handjob tips. give me some.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
