yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
