Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize