I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
