Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
