I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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