It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
