**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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