Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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