you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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