$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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