Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
