Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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