just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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