i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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