I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
