i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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