One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
ok first of all what the fuck
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
