Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
