I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize