I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
