Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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