Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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