shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This is my gift to your gina
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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