summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
