You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
