Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
