so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
