I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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