there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
