Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
