living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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