I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
