I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
