If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
