Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
