Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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