I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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