OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How external is "for external use only"?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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