I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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