God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
