Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i was born a porn star she said
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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