im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
