1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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