I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
