S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
